HOPE...

can be feeling sometimes dead
yet somehow painfully alive

I...

can be wishing it would just die
yet I feel myself hanging onto it
with rope burned hands

So tired at times I could lay here as dead
but the lifeblood refuses to stop pulsing through my veins

Right here--between dead & alive...
With both desires--to die & live...

Hope is alive, though I try to kill it

When will my heart believe...

That to live is Christ, & to die is gain

Hush

(A ditty I found from an '07 journal)


Bent low with head tucked under
Face near the earth
I sense
Robes brush past like silent thunder
A weight of light...
Heart skips a beat
I breathe in deep;
Holy feet in front of me


.

Of Terranova

you...
i remember
the day i met you
down by the water
the sun was dancing
off your hair...
twisty twirly curls
escaping from their rightful place

i remember
a smiling face
crowned by one glorious braid
shining eyes met mine
and it felt like we could be sisters

i remember
long days at the shop
interrupted
by the joy of two friends
stopping in to say hello...
somehow you helped me
to keep breathing

i remember
a sunset wedding
humility and wonder
on the River Nile...
God was there
and i'm glad i could be too

i remember
sharing the first glimpse
of a joyful life inside me

(you know you helped us name her)

spaghetti at our house,
and talking and laughing
Walking on Water
and talking and laughing...
crocheting and flavours
and trials and tears...
the learning and growing
and the rareness
of knowing someone understands

i remember
memories that go down
in the history of our hearts
that make up who we are
and leave their mark on our souls

now
when your heart bleeds
i feel it
when your heart learns
i grow too

eternal things
are what knit us together
we really are sisters
and we will be forever

08.19.09

I anticipate the morning joy
It's like it's almost here
Like it's still dark outside
But the birds have already
Started waking up and singing
Dawn is around the corner.

It feels like hope
Waiting in the wings
Of a fresh day ahead
Mercies are new every morning!

Can it be that this dark night of my soul
Could soon be over?
My hope is for the joy
That comes in the morning.

I sigh at the remembrance
Of the mountains and the valleys
I've come through in the dark
What a trip!

My faith says it's worth it
It will always be worth it

I sigh at the memory
Of a Faithfulness
That wrapped comfort all around me

I remember loss
And the utter fullness I felt
I remember loss
And the utter emptiness I felt

But what I REMEMBER
Is that Faithfulness, is that Closeness
Is that Beautifulness
I knew to be You.

My imagination can only try
To paint a picture
Of the miracle of a coming moment
When I'll hold life,
When I'll hold joy
When I"ll hold the fruit
And the sun will shine on me

The miracle of that coming moment
When I'll hold a joyful shining light
In my own hands.

HOMECOMING!

written during the last few months... back home in America...
.

04.13.09

at your mercy
held up by hope
resting on trust
in your arms

hungry for the real you

i can feel your nearness
i know you're right here
i can even feel the light
of your face smiling on me

let my life smile back at you

the little girl with curls
in the middle of the joy
caught up in that sunshine
that shines just because

i can't be satisfied with
the stale life
i have seen the real gems
peeking through the people

i've felt new pain
old pain that opened my eyes
to see more than i use to
i don't want to sleep the sleep of ignorance

but to know you more
in the power of your resurrection
and in the fellowship of your suffering

to be where you are
go where you go
among the people
i see you

guide us, good shepherd

your sheep hear your voice
we're your sheep
and we're listening
and we're listening

you're the servant of all

.

05.11.09

I'm holding on to this heart of mine
Have it all wrapped up in my grasping hands
To keep it safe
But it can't rest here
It can't breathe deeply

Fears I've fought with day after day
To think I've won
But still they tease me...

but

EVERYTHING IS UNDER YOUR FEET!
I in you and you in me...
EVERYTHING IS UNDER OUR FEET!

Lift me up above this cloud
To see what you have already done
To know my place
To remember belonging
At your mercy seat
Christ in me -- the hope of glory

Be again my safe place, Jesus
I unlock my hands and let my heart rest at your feet
Unravel my perception of the way it has to be
Trade my weight of heaviness for your glory
I dress in praise today
I will arise today and let my heart go free
To dance in victory

THERE IS NO FEAR IN LOVE!
PERFECT LOVE CASTS IT OUT!

hallelujah!

.

06.30.09

resting in this waiting place
all my confidence is placed in You.
i've been led to quiet waters
to peaceful streams
to wait on You.

You figured out how to remove the
wasteful worrying from my soul.
i saw its ugliness and felt its struggle
i don't know when it left
but i can't find it in me anymore.

hallelujah! you have set me free!
hallelujah! somehow i started to sing again!

fear has no hold on me!
praise You God -- for Your victory!

.

Let's Start With Adventures in Africa!

Here are my writings from Africa. Some are poems. Some are prayers. Some are more just thoughts. What an unusual season that was... full of challenges, full of beauty, full of tears... but best of all, full of FRUIT.

We give it all back to you, God.

06.08

One night and one day
have now passed here in Jinja, "New"ganda...
what a dreamy place before my eyes.
I awoke this morning to sunlight pouring through
un-curtained windows...
Sat up in bed and peered through squinted eyelids
to take in the most brilliant morning I have seen.
the clarity of color, the depth of lines defined!
vivid houses framed by vibrant trees...
Eyes swept toward crimson roads
where locals walked like flowing streams.
there's a rhythm to the movement
a distinctive breeze of wind...
The kind of stuff that dreams are made of
so now let the year begin!

07.28.08

I'm gonna be content here in Africa
As long as God keeps me here.
I'm gonna grow & I'm gonna thrive.
I'm gonna overcome.
Discouragement has no place in me.
This world is not my home anyway.
My home is in my Maker.
In Him I will remain
Until I see Him face to face.
Here I am. And I"m gonna be OK.

08.13.08

TIME...
TIME IS SOMETHING I HAVE
AND DO NOT HAVE
AT THE SAME
TIME...

I HAVE A ROOM
ROOM FOR CREATIVITY
BUT IT IS VACANT

THERE IS A "CAN'T" INSIDE OF ME
IT'S LOUD, BUT THERE'S A "CAN" BENEATH IT
AND I THINK IT WILL WIN THE RACE

I HEAR MUSIC IN MY EAR
BUT MY HEART HAS BEEN HIDING
CHASED AWAY BY WORTHLESS FEARS
IT'S NOT AS BAD OUTSIDE AS I'VE DECIDED

IF I CAN SOMEHOW
SOMEHOW
CATCH ONE BREATH
MAYBE I'D START BREATHING

RECOGNIZE THE VALUE
OF A MOMENT
DARE TO FILL A ROOM
WITH TREASURE
RUN THE RACE OF "CAN"
STILL FURTHER
ALLOW A NEW SOUND
ACCESS TO MY SOUL
FILL MY LUNGS
WITH WIND OF SPIRIT
BREATHE AGAIN
AND BE OK WITH "NOW"

Jinja Rosemary Tharpe

Our "Rock of Remembrance"


Friday evening, Sept 5, 2008
our baby passed through to eternity.
The peace of God was so surrounding
and His grace was undeniably with us.


We named her Jinja which means "rock"
and Rosemary which stands for "remembrance".

We made a memorial jar... wrapped our child in a beautiful watercolor silk made by our dear friend Kirsten... filled the jar with rocks and rosemary and olive oil, flowers, and notes and prayers, and beautiful things... We took a small boat out onto Lake Victoria to the place where the Nile River begins. It is called the Source of the Nile and there are large rocks there. We put the jar into the Source and floated colorful roses on the water. On our way home, we enjoyed Coca-Colas and a cigar we bought on the night we conceived little Jinja. We looked up and saw two rainbows in the sky. It was beautiful. We felt God's peace and God's promises surrounding us. The driver of our boat was named "Emmanuel".

Thank you to all who have been praying and know that we can feel the love and are looking forward to what God has for us in the future. We are full of joy and hope!


Love to all!




Jinja Rosemary Tharpe

You are our Rock of Remembrance
In you we know the faithfulness of God



You are the growing in rocky times
You are the evidence of beauty in pain



Your life is the promise of things to come
Our hearts are full to have carried you for a time



Your purpose goes on and will stay with us
We celebrate you as we sow this seed



Be fruitful, Baby! And drink from the Source
Your life flows forever, wrapped up in mystery



Emmanuel is steering our boat... "God with us..."



We saw two rainbows in the sky...
And I held two roses in my hand.

10.20.08

Add a room to my house, my heart.
Inconvenience lost its voice.
Love will be heard. Love will be heard.

11.04.08

Hidden things
Early morning dreams
I crave the understanding
Of the languages You speak to me

Revelation of one word
Contains volumes of this mystery
You unlock this sacred vault
I see gold sparkling at me

Faith comes in with listening
And hearing the clear voice of God

Doors I cannot penetrate
You open with a glance
What I cannot reach on tippy-toe
You give me while I rest

I will lay down and receive...